8 Ways to Step Up Your (e)Game
I’m far from a player (hey, not that far), but what I am is a social chameleon with an academic background in social media. Here are some basic rules about dating & the internet that I cringe at on the reg when not followed.
Avoid posting specifics about your dating life
This is rule #1. We’ve all got blogs, twitters, facebooks. DON’T FUCKING TALK ABOUT YOUR DATING LIFE. Trust me, internet stalking is easy. Unless you post absolutely anonymously, using completely unlisted usernames & URLs, your sites will be found.
DON’T TALK SHIT
If you break rule #1, don’t break this one. Dating is like employment. Your next employer is not going to hire you if they read some shit you talked about your previous employer.
You broke rules 1 & 2? At least keep it ambiguous… fuck
Why are you even reading this if you aren’t going to follow it? Okay, you talked about dating and talked shit. Don’t use any personally identifiable information when talking about the other person. This way you can play it off when confronted by someone who is pissed you talked about them. Keep in mind, this is dirty. If you have to use this rule, congratulations, you are an asshole.
Keep blatant flirting to private channels
This is a rookie mistake. Keep the obvious flirtation to DMs, private messages and emails. Not only does openly flirting across social networks make you seem desperate, it could also come off as a little creepy. Plus, you never know who else is watching (see the last rule).
Delete, delete, delete
I’m not advocating cheating here but we’ve all been in that gray area. You are seeing someone pretty regularly but haven’t yet had “the talk.” As such, you’re still playing the field. Nothing technically wrong with that but your steady may not see it the same way. Text messages, facebook messages, emails. Delete anything scandalous without abandon.
Stay in ‘stealth mode’
“Why aren’t they responding? I see them on facebook/IM/updating twitter.” This is tricky, you need freedom to move online but don’t want to give the impression that you are ignoring anyone. Keep your IM status to “busy.” Facebook has one better, go completely invisible. A recent feature I found on my G1 is ‘send caller to voicemail’. Anytime I’m out with a girl, all other female friends get sent to voicemail automatically. Avoids the awkward “who was that calling” question. Don’t have this feature? Your phone’s silent mode works just as well.
Know who you’re dealing with
Most of my guy friends have been in serious long-term relationships for a while and this is a concept that is completely foreign to them. I’m in my mid-twenties and date girls anywhere from the ages 18 to 30. Each age group plays the game a little differently and knowing how to react to key. People between 18-22 (college age) grew up with their cell phones basically attached to them. They treat texting the same way people my age used to treat IM. You sent a text message, therefore you have your phone on you, therefore you can reply immediately to messages, having basically real-time conversation. People like myself in their mid-twenties tend to send messages while multi-tasking. We’re out of college with jobs and busy lives. Texts should be expected whenever one gets the chance to respond. Late twenties, early thirties tend to be more phone talkers. A text will likely be responded to with a phone call.
Live your online life assuming every person you are dating is watching
This is self explanatory. Assume everyone you date is reading what you publicly post (they probably are) and post accordingly.
Conclusion: I hope I didn’t give the impression that I advocate being shady. Most of this should be common sense to anyone dating in the digital age. Overall I advocate honesty in any relationship. If someone asks you if you are dating other people you should be honest, but unless you are getting serious with someone, that is the extent of what they need to know.
Full disclosure: This post was inspired by, but definitely not a response of any kind to this post by Nicole, who I have a huge eCrush on. Pretty sure I just broke, like, every rule.
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kylecooper posted this
