Yeah, pretty much. What can I say, I get bored easily.
Side note: This kid actually looks a lot like me when I was a tot. Poor bastard.
Oh and Elle’s been murdering it over on DatingStandards with her ‘Calling Bullshit’ series, so check that out and follow along if it’s your cup of tea.
See ya later, I’ve got to go check out this sale at Urban Outfitters.
(via datingstandards)
Being an Accessory to Cheating, Haley Joel Osment & Yet Another Excuse to Fist Fight
Being an accessory to cheating.
This is something I’ve done on more than one occasion in my life. I know it’s shocking due to my sparkly reputation and outstanding record concerning conventional morality, and even more shocking, I’m sure you can guess that I have never felt bad for being a participant in said illicit affairs.
I’ve never been a cheater myself, believing that it’s not that hard to discuss switching-to-an-open-relationship-or-breaking-up-with-someone-before-sticking-your-dick-in-someone-else first. I embrace this philosophy to the point that I once broke up with a girl who I had a pretty long history with for this very reason. Ok, so that wasn’t the only reason, as history would prove over and over, but the point is the same. Feelings are going to be hurt regardless and for me, it’s more important to keep my honesty intact than it is to get away with scoring strange OR getting busted and having to deal with someone who knows they can’t trust me.
I’m not going to make the argument that being the other guy is morally different from cheating (because taking the moral high ground isn’t my MO), it just doesn’t go against my personal principles that I aspire to live up to. If I don’t have any attachments to anyone and I find someone I have chemistry with, then yeah, I’m going to explore it. Without getting attached, obvi.
So now for the obvious. “Well have you ever been cheated on?” And the answer to that is “Yes”. (Remember when I said I had more reasons? That was a big one.) So yes, I’ve been there and yes, it hurt like Hell. So how do I justify being the other guy when I’ve been there and I know how much it sucks?
Well, first I chalked it up to karma. Just the Universe’s way of paying me back in a fucked up version of “Pay it Forward”. I got cheated on and now it was my turn to do the damage, so fuck you Haley Joel Osment. But then I realized that it wasn’t really that guy’s fault. He had no moral obligation to me. He was just trying to get his dick wet, same as all of us, it just so happened to be with my then fiancé.
My current mode of thinking goes something like this: If I bone your girl, firstly, you need to get your relationship in check, but more importantly, you have now earned the right to fight me. No bullshit shit-talk or shoving; you are entitled to start throwing elbows the second our paths cross. Even if I have no idea who you are. Beware though, nowhere does this imply that I can’t fight back.
So if ever in the future I randomly punch a child development researcher in the face and then offer to buy him a drink for saving me from a giant mistake, you’ll know why. Consequently if I’m ever jumped by a large Italian man, a record producer or any other assorted collective of random, angry gents, it’s safe to assume that I probably had it coming.
OPERA MAN, JAY-Z & WHY FAT DUDES GET SO. MUCH. PLAY.
My new post @DatingStandards.
Subtitled: THE ONE WHERE I TRY TO OFFEND ALL OF OUR FEMALE READERS
Our Standards For Dating: Girls, The Matrix & why chicks can only screw themselves... metaphorically
My latest post @DatingStandards. Sarah & Elle are still tolerating me, so that’s exciting!
Dude Standard #1: You must be willing to give me a post-engagement blowski. In public. With photographers around. Also: An introduction.
I was always more of a Ren Stevens guy myself, but damn Lizzie McGuire is getting gangster in her old age. She’s like, what? 20? Anyway, the point is, when I drop a milli on a rock, get on my cock. Can I make cock jokes here?
If you haven’t noticed, I’m new here. My name’s Kyle. I sometimes post about sex, dating, and relationships over on my tumblr and for some reason I was offered the male perspective spot here on Dating Standards. I’ll be jumping in sporadically with advice, how-to’s and general fuckery.
Hey girls, did you know this is the 100th post? Dick jokes for the Centennial! Aren’t you glad you invited me to the party?
<3 y’all,
Kyle
Oh hey you guys, I’m now posting all my dating & relationship shit-talk over at Dating Standards. Follow along!
Things About Sex I’ve Learned
Libido Compatibility Fucking Matters
While there’s a lid for every pot, some pots require a bit more time on the stove than others. Even the happiest and strongest coupling will eventually shift to shit if one party is cool with once every another week (or month) or so and the other needs it at least once a day. Eventually one of them will have to “compromise” a bit more than the other, and, depending on who does the compromising, this always results in either the low-libidoed person feeling used for sex and eventually hating it, or the high-libidoed one feeling unwanted and eventually resenting their mate.
Don’t Trust a Person Who Says They Never Masturbate
If they’re lying they’re too anal and pedestrian to realize that its not a subject worth lying about. If they’re telling the truth, they’re future murderers.
The Idea of a Woman/Man Willingly and Enthusiastically Performing and Enjoying Oral Sex Matters More Than the Actual Act
Dating While Horny Is No Different Than Grocery Shopping While Hungry
In both cases you’ll just end up spending too much for some shit you didn’t even really want.
Pretty Much Everyone Who’s Ever Said They Got Accidentally Pregnant or Contracted an STD Because a Condom Broke Is Fucking Lying
Sometimes “Technical Difficulties” Might Occur
Whether its because of stress, fatigue, alcohol, or the song you can’t get out of your head, sometimes shit, ummm, doesn’t happen.
The More I Learn, The More I Realize I Still Don’t Really Know Shit
Source: Very Smart Brothas
TRUTH IN BLOGS
getting over someone : necessary steps
other than deleting him from your phonebook,etc.
(reference THIS post for tips with that!)
Find a guy friend (in my case, if you’re guy it might be a girl friend, or another guy friend - etc, you get the idea.) who’s willing to
really listen and give you some sound advice. Sometimes you just need the validation that you’re not blindsighted by your emotions and that the person really is a waste of time. And guess what? You have the added bonus of them giving you advice from their past experiences,etc. and with that comes a huge sense of comfort and confidence that you can move on. I’ve been having a hard time letting go of someone and one of my friends’ kinda/sorta boyfriends helped me through the whole ordeal - what a kind guy! Appreciated it and then some. I’ll be posting some tips that he gave me that I’m finding are the exact cure to never contacting a pain in the neck again or wondering “what if”. In fact, Sarah and I are going to try and get him to become a member of the dating standards team! What do you think,folks? I think it’d be great to have a male voice on here to balance things out a little bit. Also,don’t forget we’ve enabled the submit feature now - we’d love to hear some of your standards! C’mon, we all have ‘em. Dish!bang.Love,
Elle
fixed.
Some wisdom my mother shared with me while watching NBC's The Biggest Loser
Me: Dude, what is up with all these fat guys having hot girlfriends/wives?Mom: You have to be nice to girls, not like you.
Me: Whatever. I'm just going to gain 400 pounds.
